Poem: "The Life of the Careless"

05/02/09

The Life of the Careless

Walking down the path

To the lake

Where moonlit water

Will be met

Where a light breeze

Will slowly blow

Where a hush exists

I only bet

Slowly circle

The waterlogged

Seeing shadows

Among the pine

Seeing creatures

Of the night

Seeing not much

After nine

A noise disturbs

The quietness

Look to see

Where it’s from

Look to the left

Only a leaf

Look to the right

You feel numb
A hefty strange

Lurks within

Doing as it

Does

Doing what it

Likes to do

Doing it

Because
Run like hell

The other way

No meeting such

A scare

No knowing of

The happening

No feeling

Any care

7 Sagas of Sin

04/19/09

This is something that I've been thinking about doing for a little while.  It puts together a few of the things I love:  Fight Club, being a hater, and bringing justice to the world!


I am an unread text message.  In a moment's time, the husband of the woman I am meant for will curiously open me since my source's name "Thomas" doesn't ring a bell.  My contents will allow the husband to finalLy have some resolUtion in life:  he knowS the truTh.  Yet, disarray is ahead for the married couple with the inevitable drawn out divorce.


I am a KFC employee.  I will take the order of the next Alabaman who is more than twice what he should weigh.  I will serve this man over a day's worth of calories in chicken that he will finish while watchinG his 500 channeLs after flopping down on the coUch.  The worst part of iT is The walk tO his sedaN will be the most activity he does todaY.


I am the waterfall, rushing water down and taking back up for another round.  I am an unnatural form of nature; I defy meaning.  My maker was paid more for my creation than the average worker in Sudan makes in a year.  I am the second waterfall on my owners' property.  AlthouGh my owneRs clEarly has evErything they coulD ever want, they'll never have true love, true friends, or true happiness.


I am the empty film case, formerly filled with marijuana.  My consumer will inhale toxic fumes so often that he no longer feels, no longer careS.  He wiLl lounge arOund, failing aT life, smoking anytime He can get his hands on the drug.  After a large score of cheap weed, he will be high Friday night until Monday morning, doing nothing except running from his problems.  He doesn't realize until the haze fades that his yellow labrador didn't eat all weekend.


I am the red 2005 Ford Mustang.  My driver pushes me to the limit, always holding down my gas pedal relentlessly.  I can outrace most cars since I am customed out for speed.  As a Honda Civic cuts in front of me, barely far enough from my front bumper, my driver gets enraged and pushes the gas pedal a little harder.  My tires can't handle the speed and the rain, so I slip.  I do a full 360 and cause a multi-car Wreck.  FoRtunAtely my driver didn'T Have a gun.


I am the $10 purse just purchased from Target.  Although I have the same function as a more expensive bag, I create a problem for my owner.  She notices another carrying a Prada.  While she doesn't know thE Prada's owNer, she Views her instantlY as a snob.


I am the ring that marks my wearer as rich and married.  My wearer will flash my stone to anyone who has eyes and tell of my class to anyone willing to listen.  I represent love and commitment even if my wearer shows anything but.  It's a good thing my wearer hasn't seen me for what I really am, a fake, though this is exactly what my PurchaseR, the husband, has fInally DeemEd his wife.

Done.

The End of the Quarter

03/15/09

Tomorrow starts finals week for most universities.  Therefore, tonight is full of cramming.  I am not one who consistently leaves a ton of shit to do for the last minute (at least I don't want to be this person), but by the end of the quarter, I feel like I have a million things to finish.  Last week I had the big projects due:  a 12 page paper, 10 minute presentation, 6 page paper.  This week, I have tests.  Three tests that I don't want to study for.  I'm not much of a study-er anyways, although I demand straight A's out of myself.  I'm more of a retain-er; the information I take in doesn't usually require a second time around of learning.  Except for my management class.

The class, quite frankly, is awful!  The teacher is extremely boring (oxymoronic phrase?), and I have a hard time staying awake from 6:30 to 8:35 PM.  The teacher has admitted to talking "like a choo-choo train."  But, she makes no attempt to fix her dull way of teaching.  The subject really isn't that interesting anyways.  I don't really need to know how to reward employees.  I don't give a tiny rat's ass.  The managers I've had during my working life clearly haven't taken a management course like this one.  There's way too much thinking involved.  Most managers just start at the bottom and work their way up.  Who really gets hired as a manager with no experience in the industry but a degree in management?  And just to clarify, this management course is required of all business students.  There's no way I'm doing it for fun.

So I've read the chapters that will be on the management final, but they are SO boring...just like the teacher.  I know that I'll have to reread, take notes, and actually study, which usually is just redundant for me.  But, I can't go getting lower than a 3.0 on the final.

Another thing that ruins this whole planned-studying shit is my friend, Beth.  She just arrived from Utah for a two week visit.  I know that if she wants to hang out tonight, I will probably fall into her trickery.  She won't actually try to convince me to leave; I'll do so willingly.  But, I've always been the kind of person who thinks up things that must be done mid-chapter in my finance or other boring text book.  I'm easily distractable when it comes to homework.

Lately, I've heard a couple people say, "Everything will come together," or some version of that phrase.  And I must admit that I hate that phrase.  Yes, everything most likely will come together, but it's not that simple.  Hard work will be emitted to ensure the coming together.  It is nice to look at predicaments with optimism, but I am simply not that kind of person.  I'm a realist.  I know everything will come together, everything will work out, everything will BE fucking FINE, but don't make it sound so simple.  You are underestimating that amount of work that must be put in AND consequently the amount of work that will be put in.

This tangent has gone on for long enough.  Spring break, here I come!!

Cheaters Never Prosper

03/01/09

My name is Brittny, and I have never cheated.

How many of you can say the same?

Although I've never been in a serious relationship, I still see the consequences of cheating.  It's wrong!  There is no excuse.  I've known people who cheat because they're in a loveless marriage, their husband abuses them, they're bored, they don't like monogamy, or even if your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend is cheating on you!  Nothing justifies cheating.  And when I say cheating, I mean without your significant other's knowledge of the extramarital affair.  I don't know about those of you with "open relationships."

Not long ago, my friend told me about her wild drunken night with a bunch of people including her boyfriend.  She told me that at one point she kissed a different guy.  I thought this was funny because I'm not fond of her boyfriend, but when I told my sister, my dad overheard and reminded me that cheating is wrong.  I was a little taken aback by his response.  I needed to be reminded that unethical choices are hardly able to be justified. 

My other friend was abused by her husband, and she participated in several affairs.  I also didn't find this wrong at the time, but I do now.  Just because he hit her, doesn't mean she should cheat on him.  It does, however, mean that she should leave him.  Hurting her physically is not fixed by her hurting him emotionally.

What do you do when your friend cheats?  Tell their significant other?  Tell them to stop?  Do nothing?  I think how you respond may slightly depend on the situation, but really, how much involvement are you to take in stopping the cheating?

I have no answer.  I didn't do anything in both circumstances that I knew about.  I know of several people who choose to cheat on their spouse, and I don't know what to do or even think!  It's far more common than I thought.  When I know that someone has cheated, it makes me wonder where and when they'll stop.  If cheating is ok, is lying ok?  Is stealing ok?  Where is the line drawn against immorality?

Best Conversation Ever

02/13/09


OK, so who would you do?
The one in the front looks like Scarlett Johannson in The Other Boleyn Girl.
I don't like what the middle one is doing with his hand.
I'd do the hooded guy ONLY if he kept his hood up.
I'd do the one by the door if he kept that look on his face the entire time.

I am a Front Desk Agent

01/31/09


I received this as a forward from my boss.  It's been switched up a little to pertain to myself and my coworkers.  I am a Front Desk Agent.I have advanced degrees in Accounting, Public Relations, Marketing, Business, Computer Science, Civil Engineering, and I too am an AMMA follower.  Indeed we can send up the extra virgin olive oil that you requested. I can also read minds.

Of course I have the reservation that you booked six years ago even though you don't have the confirmation number and you think it was made under a name that starts with "S".

It is completely my fault that the blizzard shut down the airport and you have to sleep in a warm king-size bed while 5000 of your co-travelers are sleeping in benches at the airport. I am sorry.

It is not a problem for me to give you seven connecting, non-smoking, poolside suites with two king beds in each, four rollaways, 3 cribs, and yes, I can install a wet bar. I know it is my fault that we do not have a helicopter landing pad.

I am a Front Desk Agent. I am expected to speak all languages fluently. It is obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Friday on the weekend we're sold out that you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions, and yes, I am lying to you when I say we have no more rooms available. It is not a problem for me to quickly construct several more guest rooms. THIS time I will not forget the helicopter landing pad. And it is my fault that everyone wanted to stay here. I should have known you were coming in, even though you had no reservation. After all, you stay at our brand of hotel all the time, 300 nights a year, and this is only the first time you've ever been to our city.  You ARE a Platinum Priority Club member, so I will just go ahead and convert the king standard room into a suite while you are getting your luggage.  Of course this is a free upgrade.

I am a front desk agent. I am quite capable of checking three people in, two people out, taking five reservations, answering fifteen incoming calls, delivering six bath towels to room 325, plunging the toilet in room 115, and restocking the supply of pool towels, all at the same time. Yes, I will be glad to call ABB Taxi and tell him to drive over all the cars stuck in traffic because you've been waiting in our warm lobby eating half a dozen fresh and free cookies for 10 minutes.

I am a front desk agent, an operator, a bellhop, houseman, guest service representative, housekeeper, sales coordinator, information specialist, entertainment critic, restaurateur, stock broker, referee, janitor, computer technician, plumber, ice-breaker, postman, babysitter, dog walker, comedian, dispatcher, laundry cleaner, lifeguard, electrician, ambassador, personal fitness trainer, fax expert, human jukebox, domestic abuse counselor, and verbal punching bag. Yes, I know room 120 is not answering their phone. And of course I have their travel itinerary so I know exactly where they went when they left here 9 hours ago, and what their cell phone number is.

I always know where to find the best vegetarian-kosher-Mongolian-barbecue restaurants within walking distance. I know exactly what to see and do in this city in fifteen minutes without spending any money and without getting caught in traffic. I take personal blame for airline food, traffic jams, rental car flat tires, and the nation's economy.

I realize that you meant to book your reservation here. People often confuse us with the Galaxy Delight Motel, Antarctica. Of course I can "fit you in" and yes, you may have the special $1 rate because you are affiliated with the Hoboken Accounting and Bagel Club.

I am expected to smile, empathize, sympathize, console, condole, upsell, downsell (and know when to do which), joke, cry, perform, sing, dance, fix the printer, and tell your friends that you're here. And I know exactly where 613 Possum Trot Lane is in the Way Out There subdivision that they just built last week.

Mas Dinero

01/11/09

So0o...I am somewhat worried about my future.  My ...::BiG::... goal is to own a hotel.  Actually, I want to own a resort, an expensive one, that mostly pertains to celebrities and the likewise.  I mostly mean rich people, let's say $800 per night...anyone?

But, the fact of the matter is that I have about $600 to my name, but I still have to pay $2300 for my tuition.  So, essentially, I have -$1700.  Not looking too good there.

Here's what I've been thinking:  First, I thought I'd open an espresso stand and use the revenue from that to open a hotel.  Then, a girl in one of my classes mentioned that "just anyone" these days thinks that they can open an espresso stand.  That kind of put me into perspective since I've never worked at any sort of coffee stand/store/bar, so what makes me think that I can own one?  This idea is still plausible to me though, so it may or may not have a chance.

Another idea that I have is to open an editing service out of my home.  I know that whenever I read a text document, email, letter, IM, bulletin, or anything, I basically proofread it.  I don't actually correct it, but in my mind, I pull out the mistakes.  Therefore, an editing service would be perfect for me, since I naturally edit; I have even researched the career of copy editor.  This idea is a bit far-fetched since I AM only 19, as in, I don't have my credibility to my name.  Also, while I was reading up on homebased editing services, it recommends having a computer (check), the ability to edit (check), and editing software (what the?).  I've never heard of editing software; I would think that Microsoft Office (mainly Word) would cover that.  Isn't Spell Check editing software enough?

As I was Googling "editing software," Google suggested photo editing software.  I do have Photoshop, and I do enjoy editing photos and the likewise.  But, I don't think I did immensely well in my digital photography class.  So, that idea is more or less out of the question.

My final and most realistic idea (at least for the time being) is selling Avon! Wooooo...Not really, but I think I could make at least $100 per month besides my actual job's pay.  Maybe I will; maybe I won't.  Any suggestions?